Friday, January 15, 2010 9:29 PM, EST
DAY 16
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. ~Maya Angelou
This morning before she left, my mother taped two watercolors to MG's isolette. One was of a caterpillar on a green leaf and the other was of the colorful butterfly at the end of Eric Carle's children's book. I add the above quotation to her visual inspiration to express the day (and week) it has been for us with MG. This week we were confronted with the difficult reality of the next few months. After two weeks on the ventilator and a few setbacks (another this morning when her tube moved too low and her CO2 levels rose and lungs deflated a bit), we are realizing that she is not getting off the vent as soon as we'd hoped and had heard possible for others. Our doctor told us we must be prepared for a couple more weeks on the vent and even longer on CPAP before just oxygen. It is hard to watch her struggle, to see the bruises from the retaping, or to witness her levels fall as we did this morning. I realize some of you may tire of riding this roller coaster day by day through this journal, so I do not blame you if you do not subscribe and check only occasionally. A daily update is not always helpful as you may loose sight of the long term. And yes, we have faith that long-term, our Margaret Grace will be home with us and happy...the beautiful butterfly at the end of the story. But that doesn't make each day easy. For us, even in each day there are ups and downs. (Often when people ask me, how she is? I do not know what to say. I think they just want to know if she'll be the butterfly, but right now, we are thick in the sticky strings of the cocoon. It's not always easy to describe the changes it will take to get to the happy outcome. )
It started with a down when we arrived at the hospital and they were readjusting her tube and watching her 02 levels fall.
It started to come up with the news that her PDA was smaller and the left side of her heart more aligned with her right. We can postpone treatement of the smaller opening for now.
It ended with a potential up as we were told she can start trying to eat breastmilk again. They hope she will digest it and begin to grow bigger and stronger. She is 1010grams now, but my babycenter.com updates say she should be 3.5 pounds if she were in the womb.
Let's hope she is as her new paintings suggest she can be...a very hungry caterpillar.
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. ~Maya Angelou
This morning before she left, my mother taped two watercolors to MG's isolette. One was of a caterpillar on a green leaf and the other was of the colorful butterfly at the end of Eric Carle's children's book. I add the above quotation to her visual inspiration to express the day (and week) it has been for us with MG. This week we were confronted with the difficult reality of the next few months. After two weeks on the ventilator and a few setbacks (another this morning when her tube moved too low and her CO2 levels rose and lungs deflated a bit), we are realizing that she is not getting off the vent as soon as we'd hoped and had heard possible for others. Our doctor told us we must be prepared for a couple more weeks on the vent and even longer on CPAP before just oxygen. It is hard to watch her struggle, to see the bruises from the retaping, or to witness her levels fall as we did this morning. I realize some of you may tire of riding this roller coaster day by day through this journal, so I do not blame you if you do not subscribe and check only occasionall
It started with a down when we arrived at the hospital and they were readjusting her tube and watching her 02 levels fall.
It started to come up with the news that her PDA was smaller and the left side of her heart more aligned with her right. We can postpone treatement of the smaller opening for now.
It ended with a potential up as we were told she can start trying to eat breastmilk again. They hope she will digest it and begin to grow bigger and stronger. She is 1010grams now, but my babycenter.
Let's hope she is as her new paintings suggest she can be...a very hungry caterpillar.
No comments:
Post a Comment